little miracles, everyday

Holy shit!  I just re-read this lame post and figured it was time for a personal yet highly-undetailed Year in Review (because this is, after all, THE INTERNET). 

I will skip over the details of the message I got on nye 2007 that completely derailed my manhunt for the year and focus on the cheesehead optimism of "spending all of 2007 taking action to attract the best of everything into my life."

I somehow manage to simultaneously make myself barf and give myself hope when I make statements like that.  Inspirational vomiting is my specialty.

So what the hell happened this past year?  Well, Manhunt turned into Careerhunt.  I left a useless (literally) job to take a contract position that paid much more money but also brought an immense amount of stress and sadness into my life.  I met some of the coolest people EVER, who taught me incredible things about graciousness and living out loud.  I was reminded that I'm a lucky bitch who has a wonderful family and wonderful college and pre-college friends, without whom I wouldn't have survived the last six months (let alone the last 29 years).  I learned that the universe really is on my side.

I switched jobs because I thought it would be an improvement in my career.  It was a little bit closer to the kind of work I was doing in San Diego (compared to the work I was doing at Columbia U.), held a little more respect, was a relatively high profile project, and it paid better.  The commute was a bitch (a bitch, I tell you!) but it seemed like a small price to pay.  The real downside was that I had to give up a salaried position to do this contract job, which meant no more paid vacations or holidays. 

Still, I took more vacations in the last six months than I can ever remember.  I needed them.  I flew to California 4 times in six months.  I took a short trip to Philadelphia and to Boston.  While in California I flew to San Francisco.  I drove to Santa Barbara and LA.  It always feels good to listen to npr while driving my car.  It's one of the small things I miss. 

One of the best presents I got this christmas was a cd called This American Life: Stories of Hope and Fear.  There's a funny excerpt in the liner notes: 

"Stories of fear on our show begin, always, with simple fears.  Then things get complicated.  Same as with the hopeful stories.  I'm not sure why that is.  Sometimes on our staff we joke that when we can't come up with a theme for a show, there's always 'It Turned Out Different From What I Thought,' which not only summarizes the theme of nearly every story on our program, but all human drama and literature besides."

Ain't that the mutha-fuckin' truth.  (Sorry to all you members of the No Cussing Club.)

The contract job was completely different from the job they sold during the interview.  It had the potential to be a good job...if it had taken place somewhere else.  With different people.  I can't explain how deep that sadness went or how long it lasted, how disappointing and demoralizing it was.  Truth be told, though I've been in new york for over 2 years I hardly remember anything about my life in new york prior to taking this job that only lasted 6 months.  I realized it was time to figure out how to make a career change.  I was technically offered 3 different offers to continue on the project past the end of my contract, but I have declined.  The only good thing is that on my last day I was visited by two of the sponsor's people who said I was "the best coordinator they have" and they "would all miss me." 

I'm not going to make any bold predictions for the year ahead.  No pithy goals.  I'm just going to be thankful to all the friends and family who kept me together, hope to make a living at something fulfilling, and wish the best of everything for everyone I know. 

...aaaand for a successful Chargers game tomorrow, and that jacksonville gets squashed tonight (for personal reasons).  Go Steelers.